Dr. Ayla Wolf  00:00

One of the things that has become more obvious for a lot of my patients is that before they had their brain injury, maybe they could tolerate sugar, and it was they didn't notice any ill effects from it. And then after the brain injury, all of a sudden, eating sugar became a very obvious trigger for them to have a headache or to feel more brain fog or to feel horrible the next day, as far as energy levels, if we have a increased permeability of the blood brain barrier and an increased permeability of the gut barrier, well then we're probably going to be much more sensitive to, you know, sugar and alcohol and processed foods and just stuff like that, that maybe somebody didn't quite notice ill effects from prior to their injury, and now those things are really problematic.

 

Welcome to Life after impact, the concussion recovery Podcast. I'm Dr Ayla Wolf, and I will be hosting today's episode where we help you navigate the often confusing, frustrating and overwhelming journey of concussion and brain injury recovery. This podcast is your go to resource for actionable information, whether you're dealing with a recent concussion, struggling with post concussion syndrome, or just feeling stuck in your healing process. In each episode, we dive deep into the symptoms, testing treatments and neurological insights that can help you move forward with clarity and confidence. We bring you leading experts in the world of brain health, functional neurology and rehabilitation to share their wisdom and strategies. So if you're feeling lost, hopeless or like no one understands what you're going through, know that you are not alone. This podcast can be your guide and partner in recovery, helping you build a better life after impact. Chaandani Khan, welcome back to life after impact. It's so good to see you again.

 

Chaandani Khan  01:56

Thank you. It's always great chatting with you.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  01:58

Yeah, what's new since I talked to you last?

 

Chaandani Khan  02:02

What's new? What a question. There are so many things since we spoke last, as I had a really packed summer season, just a lot of exciting business, building some pivots in what I'm doing as well. On a personal level, you know, it was so busy, I did a little bit of travel. So I got to go to New York, which is really nice, and a couple other smaller local trips. So I've just been on the go since we chatted last

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  02:27

and how did you do with New York? I know that can be a bit of a sensory overload.

 

Chaandani Khan  02:32

New York is definitely sensory overload. I think for a lot of people, whether you are functioning in a neurotypical way or or in a neurodiverse way as well. I you know, if I practice what I preach, I have all my strategies stacked up, so I felt pretty good when I was there, but I definitely did have some moments where I thought about the times when I was really in the depths of my struggle years ago, and how that wouldn't have been possible for me to just walk down the street and and feel like anything in my system was relaxed and calm and safe. So it was I did actually specifically have a couple of moments there where I just really recognized how great things are for me right now and in my system and in my space of recovery

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  03:13

Well, and that's one of the reasons why I wanted to do this particular episode with you today, because I feel like you would have a lot of insights into our topic, which is surviving the holidays, where we often are doing more than we're used to, often committing to more social events and putting ourselves in places where there's going to be a lot of people, a lot of noise, a lot of lights. And so I thought it would be great to do an episode that is not just a holiday survival episode, but a thrival episode.

 

Chaandani Khan  03:47

I love that. A thrival. Oh my gosh, that's so cute. I'm going to borrow that word.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  03:52

Please, do, please. So, so this is our holiday thrival episode. I figured we could maybe start out by talking about just planning, right? So planning ahead. And I know it can be easy to say yes to everything, or feel like we have to do everything, so one of the things that I think would be a good thing to keep in mind is choosing your events wisely, right? Yeah, and so not feeling obligated to attend every single gathering, but maybe picking the ones that matter the most, emotionally, like, who are the people that you really want to see or spend time with, as opposed to feeling obligated to just do everything that comes your way?

 

Chaandani Khan  04:35

Yeah, I think that's such a great point. And this is, this is actually advice that you know people who are neurodiverse, or experiencing neurodiversity definitely will resonate with them, but also people who are not. I think this is just solid advice anyway, just to really anchor into what, what will move the needle forward most for you emotionally is so to say, what's going to feel the best? What's going to light you up the most? You know, if we hyper focus on. Concept of brain injury and over stimulation and all these different things that we can struggle with, I think really again, just leaning into what lights me up the most in this moment is a great space to be in. It definitely involves a mindset shift. But when you're able to do that for yourself, everything becomes a little bit easier around you.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  05:19

Yeah, for sure, and I know for for me, it is easy to kind of like, what? How do I want to say it? I think that I'm always capable of just adding more and more and more to my plate, and then all of a sudden, it's like, then you realize, oops, I just stepped over my edge, right? And so it,

 

Chaandani Khan  05:39

and especially for people who have you know you and I share this, this inner a type, or maybe I sometimes refer to myself as like a recovering a type, which is not a dirty word, really. It isn't like I it's something that I've always loved, and I say with a with pride and with support for but when you have that tendency and then have an injury and then you recover, it's very easy to go back into that tendency, or just to say, This is my set point. This is the familiar. This is how I've always shown up. So I like what you're saying. I think it makes a lot of sense. And just actively choosing what to partake in is really important.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  06:14

And then the the follow up to that in terms of, like, sometimes we could set a time limit on, okay, I have to go, or I have feel like I have to go to this event, or I want to go to this event, maybe I put a time limit on how long I'm going to be there.

 

Chaandani Khan  06:30

Yes, yeah, it is the concept of just kind of re exploring what that could look like. Maybe you can attend the two events that you have that week, but maybe you just need to shift how you're doing it. I think that this involves a little bit of creativity, as well as some flexibility and mindset. Again, just just saying, you know, perhaps, like in my old self, or before I felt the way that I feel right now, I would have gone to the entire events. They're four hours each. They're 10 hours each, you know, but just you still can be there. It's just, how does that look?

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  06:57

Yeah, and so I You're from Canada, but in Minnesota, we have this concept called the Minnesota goodbye.

 

07:04

I would like to know what this is,

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  07:07

okay, so this is basically when you're ready to leave. You feel obligated to say goodbye to every single person at the event.

 

Chaandani Khan  07:15

Okay, so then I have that inside me, like that is me in Minnesota, goodbye. I had no idea.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  07:21

Yeah. And so before you know it like you're you're you hit your your limit, you're ready to leave, and then all of a sudden, you're there an hour and a half later, because you then had to have a conversation with every single person out the door.

 

Chaandani Khan  07:36

You know what? That is, very solid advice to avoid the Minnesota goodbye, to sit with yourself, probably before you go into the event, and really just set your mind on when I'm ready to leave. This is the process I will follow, or at least have some kind of a framework of what that looks like. Yeah, I didn't know it was called that. Now I know I feel seen.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  07:54

I have a friend who this back when I was living in Oregon. He was notorious for showing up to a party and then disappearing, and he, he was like, the opposite of the Minnesota goodbye. And so you never knew. It was always like, Oh, where do you go? Where is he? Oh, I guess it's, you know, I so I think that maybe we should embrace the the opposite of the Minnesota goodbye and just practice a disappearing act and be okay.

 

Chaandani Khan  08:20

You know what, you're not wrong on that. And you know what, to be very honest, that is something that okay. So my natural step point is, apparently, now I know the Minnesota goodbye, that's how I used to operate. But since my brain injury, I've really, I've done a deep dive into into boundaries and into mindset and into just re exploring how I show up. And so, I mean, I am a person that nowadays, at least, I do attend a lot of events, and so I am frequently around a high volume of people. I'm probably speaking with a lot of them, and I have to say that I've done pretty well in means of deciding internally, I'm like, Okay, well, you know, it's time to wrap my night up. And the people I'm talking to in the immediate group, I'll, you know, wish a good night, maybe just kind of make eye contact across the room by it was nice talking, and then, you know, see myself out. So it's kind of, it's kind of a blend of those two worlds, but, but it definitely does take intention for me to do that, because it's so easy just to pop by. And especially if you're networking, you know, running, I run a business, so you're networking, and you want to say, hey, it was great chatting with you. Let's, you know, let's connect on Wednesday. Or, you know, whatever it is, so Exactly.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  09:21

And for I mean, for me, I always do well with one on one. And so if I am in an event like that, I think it's helpful for me to maybe see it as an opportunity to say a quick hello to somebody, and then use that opportunity like, oh, and you and I should get together at a later date, just the two of us, where there's not like all this chaos happening,

 

Chaandani Khan  09:42

that's a great way to do it as well. I mean, I mean, to be honest, like even getting together with somebody without all the background noise and chaos like that's just a better conversation. Probably, at least, I could say you'd use energy more efficiently, and perhaps be able to dive in a little bit deeper. Remember, things a little bit better. Yeah. To be said about that,

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  10:01

yeah, especially for people like us who maybe aren't super interested in just having a bunch of shallow, surface level conversations

 

Chaandani Khan  10:09

with you know what? You say that? And I absolutely grin, because I was just speaking with somebody else who's also a survivor, very high functioning individual. She's a keynote speaker in the brain injury space as well. We were just speaking yesterday, and we just had a little giggle over that exact concept. So feeling, feeling really seen in that, you know, and along the lines of of kind of mentally preparing yourself for your departure, mentally preparing yourself to be at this event, another idea is to kind of communicate ahead of time with the host, maybe either what your needs are or what your timeframe is, just so that kind of helps to relieve a bit of like anxiety or pressure that you're feeling, and also set expectations for others. Yeah.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  10:49

And if you are going to an event where there is a host that you are close with, or that you know, well maybe, as you're doing your non Minnesota, goodbye, you say host, and then they can now be your spokesperson for saying, oh, yeah, they left already.

 

Chaandani Khan  11:05

That is a powerful strategy. Yes, completely. At least in the host knows, and if someone is looking for you, that's fantastic. The host can inform them, not that it's not that it's their onus is on them to do so, but at least they're aware of where you are. Yeah, yeah. And I, you know, I think you and I had spoken, and you'd mentioned how important wording can be when you're communicating with anybody, but especially in this case, communicating with the host. Did you want to share some thoughts that you have on that?

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  11:31

Yeah, I think one of the things I pay attention to, especially when I'm working with my patients in the clinic, is I'm paying attention to how people are phrasing things. And for me personally, when I use a phrase like, instead of I have a brain injury, to say a phrase like, I'm recovering from a brain injury, it leaves room for for the it leaves room for recovery. It leaves room for the hope that. It leaves room for the fact that improvements are happening. Rather than having kind of an identity that says I am injured, right, or I have a brain injury, I just like to use a phrasing that doesn't necessarily create an identity around being stuck, but an identity around I'm working through this. And so sometimes that phrasing, even though it may be subtle, I think it's profound in the way we are wiring pathways in our brain and the way that we're thinking about in the way that we're communicating things. And so that's just one of the things I like to throw out there to, you know, the patients that I work with as well.

 

Chaandani Khan  12:41

I love that, and I think it's really important, like what you're sharing from an inner self dialog perspective, as well as when you're speaking externally to others, I just want to echo what you said about really, the body is always listening to us, and so whatever you're feeding it, our subconscious is just constantly receiving and saying, Great, I hear you. I'm going to pull that into my existence, right? Just to take this like, a level deeper, and so to your point, like, whether you're sharing with others externally and really just helping them to understand that I'm in a period of recovery, maybe you don't have to say, this is what it looks like, or this is my end date, because you don't know those things, but you know, let them know. And your body is also listening to everything you say. And you know it might sound like the most granular, smallest, silliest thing to some people, depending on your mindset, depending on where you are in your recovery, but genuinely, these things all do add up, and they do make a difference overall.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  13:29

Yeah, I remember one time my mom coming up to me and saying, you know, I just realized that I have spent the last 20 years of my life saying I have insomnia. And so this epiphany of, like, man, I've been telling myself I have this, right? Yeah, he just literally that one day was like, I'm never saying those words again. Like, I'm not gonna, I love

 

Chaandani Khan  13:51

that was that after speaking with you? Is that a conversation you had with her? I wonder if you just naturally, you show up this way, and she kind of picked that up in a conversation, or just the way you were speaking.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  14:00

I don't think so. I won't I'm not going to take credit for that one, but I do remember her saying that after she intentionally stopped saying and telling herself on a daily basis that she has insomnia. She's like, my sleep actually got better when I stopped telling myself this every single day.

 

Chaandani Khan  14:16

It's so true. And I mean, oh my gosh, there are things like Neuro Linguistic Programming, there's loop affirmations. There are others. You know, universal laws behind this. We could dive into, perhaps we'll stay on track for today's purposes, but, but really, you know it is, I mean or not, let's just see where we go. Right, absolutely. But really, there's so much behind what you're saying. And I just really want to, like, again, like highlight this point for anybody listening who's working through a brain injury, regardless of if you're at, you know, the early like you're early into it, whether you've been at it for years in your recovery, it is so important. And it's not something that you just it's not a strategy you just use and you instantly receive gratification, and you instantly see a difference in but very much over a period of time.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  14:58

Yeah, yeah. I would agree with him. Yeah, and yeah, it's definitely a philosophy that can you plot, can be applied to all areas of life, whether you're talking about money or anything, right?

 

Chaandani Khan  15:09

We could dive deep. I sense another episode coming. Yeah, on the note of events, there's something that is really important. This is something that I still very much actively need to talk to myself and tell myself and intentionally choose to do the strategy. But scheduling rest days between events, this is something that is critical to be able to show up as your fullest self and also not totally get to the end of your energy and then just exhaust yourself for days after, you know, referring to them as neuro recovery days. I think this is something you could speak to a little bit as well.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  15:47

You know. I think this is one of those things that almost happens unconsciously in my mind, where, if I know, like, for example, you know, my sister's planning, we have a book club that we're in that she started, like, 16 years ago, and so we always do a holiday book club event. And so I actually have to see patients that entire day, which is going to mean that I'm going to drive 40 minutes to work. I'm going to see patients back to back all day long, and then I have to drive an hour and 40 minutes right to her house to get there late for book club, and then I'm probably gonna stay the night, and so already in my brain, I'm like, oh, that's gonna be a long day. Yeah.

 

Chaandani Khan  16:28

I mean, you're saying that, and I'm just like, catching my breath a little bit for you. One, because I totally relate with taking that kind of a day on but also two, because that is a long day, and you don't have that critical downtime, that critical rest period in between, even if it's, if it's 15 minutes of rest or silence or just like a calm environment, yeah, so I'm catching my breath for you well.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  16:48

And sometimes when I need a moment like that, even if I'm in the car, I will just, I mean, I live out in the country, so the drive is going to be lovely. Okay, that's nice. And so sometimes I do just turn the radio off. I turn the podcast off. I literally just drive in silence and focus on my breathing and take that minute of, okay, let's just like, have no nothing external stimulating our brain other than just driving through the country.

 

Chaandani Khan  17:17

Yes, no, that sounds like a really good reset. Just, just a note on on that piece. I'm, you know, I, I'm really glad to hear that that is something for your system where that is peaceful and that's not full down time, but, but pretty close to it, it sounds like you're able to strip away the external stimuli. Just a note for other people. Myself, for example, driving was a task that was extraordinarily challenging and really just zapped my energy to the point where, you know, again, when I was in the pit of my of my experience in the pit of my recovery. So to say, you know, there were a lot of times where I wouldn't drive a vehicle because I didn't feel safe, I didn't feel that I had enough within me to be able to operate that vehicle. So this just also just goes to say, you know, how subjective the experience can be, and how, you know, perhaps, if somebody lives in a similar area to you, maybe that is something that they could try as well on those on those days I am again the concept of scheduling rest days between events. I'm thinking about my upcoming holiday season, which for me, I celebrate Christmas. And you know, I was just talking to my partner about this yesterday and saying I have over scheduled hard stop. I need to, I need to bake some rest period, some downtime, into what we're doing, because it's just so full on. And so that's something that I'm personally working on. Is just wondering, re envisioning how this could look? Because I don't want to, I don't want to do that. I want to show up. I want my staff days. I want to see all the family members in three different cities in a short period of time. However, this is something that you know I'm actively going to work on as well. Yeah, just see when and how I can do that.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  18:49

Yeah, exactly. And I think when you bring that intention to it, it's that, then it's going to happen, right? If you don't intentionally focus on it, it's not going to just naturally happen.

 

Chaandani Khan  19:00

Absolutely, that, like, that's it like a huge piece in brain injury recovery is learning that skill of intentionality, and learning how what that can look like for you and how to pull that into your experience. Because you know when you when you are in an experience of your brain no longer operating the exact way that you always knew it to something has to change, right? And if you I mean in I will just put myself out there and say that for the first year I was I struggled a lot, and I really fought against my brain, and that doesn't do me any justice, right? So, you know, it's not if, for people who are listening, if it sounds like it's easy for me to say right now, it's it's just that I've gone through it, and they've really reworked that, and heard from so many other people who are in a space where they are fighting in different ways. Different ways, but intentionality is something that can really, really help.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  19:46

Yeah, and you've had those experiences where you didn't listen and you thought you could just push through it, and then you suffered the the consequences after after the fact.

 

Chaandani Khan  19:54

Yes, yes. I have deeply humbled myself on a number of occasions, and that's exactly. Genuinely, even though I am so many years out, this is something that I am cognizant of for me, that I still partake in, is scheduling, you know, downtime and rest period, just so that I can show up as my fullest so it's still an active practice for me. I'm six and a half years out, just to, you know, share with others like, you know, hopefully you feel seen in what I'm sharing and what you're sharing as well.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  20:20

Ayla, yeah, I think the place where I haven't done a great job of that is a lot of times, if I'm teaching a weekend workshop, I will be trying to cram as many patients into my schedule before I have to leave town. And so I like working, working, working, working, and then also simultaneously preparing for the seminar. And then by the time I get to the seminar, I'm already feeling exhausted and burnt out, terrible feeling, because I want to give people who are paying to hear me speak my best, right? And so, you know, moving forwards like one of my kind of resolutions, not necessarily a new year resolution, but just one of my resolutions. Okay, is that same thing as like, not just for holidays, but for work too. Balancing, you know, juggling a clinic and a teaching schedule, really wanting to make sure that I can show up when I have to teach and feel like I am refreshed and I do have energy and I'm not showing up exhausted and burnt out and frazzled.

 

Chaandani Khan  21:16

And yes and important to say that you know when you are showing up. And I know that you are, you are in a you have an incredibly high capacity. You are incredible in the space. You lead a lot of change, a lot of thought. You help others in so many different ways. And it's important to say that you know when what you're describing. I think a lot of people do relate with whether they're they have the same level of capacity or if they have a different capacity, but whatever their body feels is a lot for them, you know. And it's just this feeling, and I understand it personally, this feeling of, I can do it, I can show up, I can have a smile on my face. I can be charming and delightful and educate people. But it's the way that you feel inside and like, I just want to highlight that that's what you're sharing. If you know people are listening, and maybe they haven't had our shared experience that we're talking about with brain injury. It's, it's that you can do these things and people can see you in a certain way. But it's, it's a mask that, you know, we're putting on still in different ways, to be able to show up, to be able to serve, or even just to be able to have a casual hangout with your partner on the couch after a long day, and really be present in that moment.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  22:19

Yeah, because wearing that mask is also work. It makes work. It takes up hard.

 

Chaandani Khan  22:24

It's hard work. It's very hard. It's those moments that you know maybe you haven't, you being Vu, being everyone, perhaps universally, maybe someone hasn't, you know, they haven't balanced their day very well. They haven't balanced their week very well. And even wearing a mask, you get home, you take the mask off. And for me, you know, I try not to do that too often, but it's not perfect, right? Like, sometimes I do end up doing that, and it's just this level of weight that you feel even when the mask comes off, just because you're like, Whoa, my whole system has been just firing at every every single part has been firing away, and now I can breathe, and it's almost more tiring in that moment. So, you know, bouncing back from that is a bit harder than if you just have downtime and really balance how your body needs.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  23:06

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm saying this publicly so that I then have to stick to it, right? It's like, you tell the more you're like, as soon

 

Chaandani Khan  23:16

as you said, this is my resolution, instantly I was like, Oh, she's holding herself to this for sure. Now this is out, not only with me, but with everybody listening. I'm kind

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  23:26

of notorious for having really bizarre New Year's resolutions, so I come up with some pretty interesting ones.

 

Chaandani Khan  23:34

Okay, listen, here's the thing is, we're talking on your podcast. Part of me was just like, Okay, give me a really weird one. But I don't know that. I'll put you on that spot. We could also, you know, follow our conversation along. Okay?

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  23:44

So I think one of the funniest ones was I one day, or, like, one moment, I felt like I'm such a rule follower. So my New Year's resolution was to just try to break a few rules, like, break a few more rules.

 

Chaandani Khan  23:56

You know what? I like that I like the for you, it's like, it's, it's it's like, flexibility and mindset as well, that you're challenging.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  24:03

Yeah, it's like, you know, says no public access. Maybe I just cracked the door.

 

Chaandani Khan  24:08

Life of crime begins.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  24:13

Well, that was probably, that was probably back in, like, I don't know, a couple years ago. I'm not in jail, so

 

Chaandani Khan  24:21

I'm teasing. No, no. I mean, what you're sharing. I think there are such, such manageable ways to do that, and I can see like, the application to like, more, like greater parts of your life as well. With doing something like that and just it's really challenging yourself to think outside the box in ways that you wouldn't normally.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  24:35

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think I love it. One time I did actually crash a private party at Prince's recording studio, and that's like, one of the best stories I've ever had in my life. Like, maybe I need to break more rules and just bring a little bit more excitement

 

Chaandani Khan  24:53

into my life, maybe, maybe excitement into the life of others, right? Like all those people, I'm sure they were so happy to receive you. They're like, who is. Is great. We're glad she's here now.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  25:02

I don't know about that. I did get kicked out very politely.

 

Chaandani Khan  25:06

Okay, okay, yeah, doesn't mean they didn't enjoy the interaction, even if they're asking you to

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  25:10

leave, right? That's right, that's right, yes. But anyway, Okay, so moving on, yeah, okay, next, let's talk about managing the sensory load, because when, when I think holidays, right? You think bright lights, flashing lights, loud music, obnoxious music, all the things. And yeah, when I was a teenager, I had a job at wrapping gifts at the buckle, and so I had to listen to, like, holiday music playing on a loop for eight hours a day as I wrapped with presents.

 

Chaandani Khan  25:45

Yeah, if I'm not feeling, you know, holiday or Christmas, I don't know what is

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  25:49

right, yeah. So, and there was one particular annoying song that just every time it came on, I was just, okay, please, please. Can we not play this 20 times an hour? But anyway, so, so avoiding sensory stacking, in the sense of, if we know that we're going to a place where there's a lot of lights or sounds and conversation and people I know, for me personally, if I'm talking to somebody and I'm having a hard time hearing them, or I'm having a hard time concentrating, because there's so much happening, I will frequently say to that person, like, can we just step into another room where it's a little bit quieter and I take myself out of the the situation where I know I'm not I'm not doing so well.

 

Chaandani Khan  26:33

That's so smart, and it also speaks to just how you've gained this level of comfort in asking for what you need, which is so important in the space. It's a skill that I think it comes over time, and it does involve intention, surprise, the word intention coming back for us again. And I think that's a beautiful strategy. That's, you know, I very much relate with what you're saying as well. And I know a ton of people listening do as well. Just when you think about the holidays, it's true, like, it's not just bright lights, it's flashing bright lights. It's different colors of lights. It's that stacks with movement, with people around the room, with laughing, with food, with eating, with, you know, with, oh my gosh, all the sounds as well. So that's a great strategy, and I hope other people try that out. What I do as well as if I'm talking to somebody and, you know, maybe I'm further away from a place that would be quiet, I often say, Hey, can you just come with me, and I'll find a wall and put myself against a wall with my back against a wall, because that limits the sounds behind me. If there is a chance when you're coming into a space or maybe a dinner or maybe an event, and there is a chance to sit in a chair with my back against a wall, I will always do that. And sometimes I will just so boldly ask someone Hey, like, Would you be open to me switching seats with you? I had a brain injury, and I struggled to hear. And although there are more complex processes happening than struggling to hear, quote, unquote, it's something short and sweet that a lot of people are able to easily understand, and then, you know, make a decision of if that's okay to switch seats. For example, yeah.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  27:59

And like you said, you just, you kept it brief, you kept it sweet. And most people would not hesitate to say, of course, I'd be happy to switch seats with you exactly,

 

Chaandani Khan  28:08

or even if we're having a chat, like, I'll just, I don't know, I try to be kind of charming about it and giving my secrets away. Now, if people listen and I'm networking with them, they will know what I'm up to. But you know, I might say, like, we're in the middle of chatting, and I'll say, hey, walk and talk with me, and I just, they're intrigued. So we just, we just drift into, you know, an area that's a bit quieter, and much like you're saying,

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  28:27

Yeah, love it

 

Chaandani Khan  28:30

earplugs as well. Though I used to carry, I'm not kidding, you, three types of earplugs with me to every event that I went to, just because it would give me the option they had, you know, varying levels of, I guess you could say, like sound protection or background noise canceling, if you will. And to be honest, you know, it was to the point where I would not leave the house, or if I had left the house and I had forgotten even one pair of earplugs, then I would be late going to the event. I would take time. I would go home, I would find them, I would pack them, and then I would leave again, which, as you know, does it can chip away at your precious energy source, especially when you're in a space of really struggling in that way. But to me, it was just so worth it. I would often wear, I preferred in ear, ear plugs. I won't give any names right now, but there are different names that are really big on the market, and I would usually just wear one in my ear at events, because it would, in my the way that I would describe it, it would cut background noise enough so that I was able to just focus with my one ear. The only thing is that it worked really well for me personally, just with how, you know, I would struggling in really chaotic, noisy environments. But when speaking one on one, it was a little bit more challenging to speak with somebody, and I would find myself turning my ear to them, which eventually I just gave into and I was like, You know what? I can't hear that. Well, can I? So if I'm leaning into you with my ears, I'm just really focusing on what you're saying. Again, another strategy,

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  29:52

I think that's a great one. And I know some people also like to use just tinted lenses, you know, wear glasses that just. Yeah, and everybody has a unique preference for what color lens seems to give them the most sense of relaxation. I know for some people, green works great. For other people, the rose tinted or the red tinted. But for some people, just kind of removing a certain wavelength of light, just filtering out certain light is enough to just get a little bit more of a relaxation effect into their nervous system, in a place where they're already feeling overstimulated, exactly.

 

Chaandani Khan  30:30

And this is something that I think more people need to know about, because you know what I know now, of course, I wish I knew then, when I was struggling the most, but there were a lot of gaps in my treatment plans and my recovery, and I really could have used some type of lenses, like cloudy days, cloudy days when it's just overcast but really bright outside. Those were so exhausting for me, like I would just be flattened. And, you know, now I realize a little bit more about the visual system and tinted lenses and all they could do for you,

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  30:57

yeah, and I think, you know, obviously, where I live, there's lots of snow, and so when you have the white snow and the sun glaring off that snow, I've also done a lot of research into just sunglasses in general, and there is a big difference in the quality of polarized lenses in terms of how well they work and help your eyes To relax. And sometimes, you know, certain brands, or less expensive brands, might not actually be working as well, and they might as you to still have some eye strain that could be relieved by a higher quality lens. So the quality of the lens really does matter, especially when you're trying to cut out a lot of that glare.

 

Chaandani Khan  31:38

It really, really does. It makes a difference. And I you know when you talk about polarized lenses, I even think back to growing up. For some reason, I had a lot of friends who were lifeguards, and they would wear polarized lenses when they were working. And even, you know, in that case, they weren't working through a brain injury, necessarily, but they saw a great, a great difference in their energy and their eye strain and their ability to actually do their job for eight plus hours a day. And, you know, be under the sun at water and such. And I think that is such a great tip for people who live in snowy environments. To your point, yes, they can definitely. They generally are more expensive. But if someone is able to, if you're able to kind of pick and choose types of tools that were really meant for your brain injury, that I think that's a really important one.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  32:20

Yeah, for sure. And then you kind of alluded to this one already, but one of the tips is this idea of positioning yourself strategically. So whether that means, if you're in a room, like you said, you put your back against the wall all of a sudden there's not a bunch of sound coming from behind you. But also, I think for some people, I had a patient who suffered from psychogenic seizures and flashing lights were a trigger. And so if she was out at a restaurant and they would have a Christmas tree or something that had lights on it, and it was flashing, she just knew right out the cage, like I should not sit in a place where that tree is in my line of sight, because it's probably going to trigger a seizure. And so even for people who maybe it's not that extreme, but they know sometimes you can sit somewhere and just you're immediately kind of irritated by what you're having, what what is happening in front of you, right? And yes. And so again, going back to, you know, we talked about the Minnesota goodbye. There's also in Minnesota, we talk about this Minnesota nice thing, where a lot of times people won't advocate for themselves because they don't want to appear rude. And so I feel like I am. I've struggled with that where I don't want to appear rude by saying I can't sit here. Or can you turn your lights off? Or can you like, can you change your environment for me? And so I've kind of learned, I think I learned this behavior of, let me just sit and suffer through it. And I think as I get older, I'm now a little bit more willing to say, let me just I'm going to change spots, or I'm going to move or I'm going to do something so that I'm not sitting here feeling super irritated, in a sense, like have sensory overwhelming, this flashing light that I have to stare at from this particular scene.

 

Chaandani Khan  34:09

Yeah, no, absolutely. And I mean, I'm so glad to hear about that evolution that you've experienced, just in means of social convention, in means of, you know, familiarity, in means of your own internal, internal dialog as well. That's huge. And that's something whether someone is, you know, in Minnesota, has grown up in or has lived in that type of environment, or, I think that's true in a lot of different cities, a lot of different countries. This is something that you know, even, you know, I'm Yes, Canadian, born and raised here, lived, you know, however. A, I've spoken to a lot of people from a lot of different areas of the world. B, I've traveled quite a lot in my life, and I see this quite consistently that, you know, it's a way of being polite. You don't want to impose upon others, right? But enter brain injury into the chat, right? Like this becomes a very different conversation and a very different topic. And I often refer to, you know, when I had my brain injury. Being being enrolled in what I call boundaries, 101, because really, while you're laughing and you know, people on us insiders, we know it just brings a different lens on your entire existence. And it's kind of up to us to either, you know, in these moments, like what you're describing, sitting in a room with flashing lights, or just feeling so deeply irritated because there's so much stimulation around you and your system's overloaded. It just it all of a sudden, with brain injury, it becomes a question of, you know, well, protecting yourself and your needs. It's self preservation, in a sense, right? And there are ways to have those conversations with others. There are ways to ask. But I think it starts with coming coming from within. It starts with you finding a way to be comfortable, and in asking someone to switch seats with you or or maybe wearing your tinted lenses in a public space, even though, like no one else is wearing green or red lenses, I feel silly. But just finding ways to say, like, hey, like, this is what I'm doing. And to me that lumps under the lumps, it can be lumped under the category of boundaries where you're like, I want to be in this space. What's happening is not okay for my system. I am going to do X, Y, Z, to be able to change this for myself. And it's not something that happens overnight. It, you know, really makes me think about, you know, for the first year and a half, two years, I had an extraordinarily hard time putting towards all that I was experiencing the levels of loss, the levels of struggle, you know? And I was constantly having to check in, whether it was with doctors or well meaning friends and loved ones, right? Saying, like, how are you today? And I'd be like, Oh, not good, but I wouldn't really go into it. And then one day, it was a very distinct moment. I was sitting at my at the kitchen table, and I just had this moment where I was trying to do a little bit of journaling, although I couldn't write very well either after my brain injury, I had a lot of spelling errors, etc. And I just had this moment where I thought, No, I am no, I'm just not doing this anymore. The next time someone asks me how I am, I choose in myself, to be very honest, and if that makes them uncomfortable, I'm okay with that. That's not my purpose to make them uncomfortable, but I actively choose to speak my truth. And I'm not kidding, it very much happened like that one day, and I just did, and I did see, you know, when someone asked me how I was, I was like, actually, I've had headache for five days straight. I've only eaten, like, a couple of fruits because I can't remember how to cook. I'm forced to drive to a lot of appointments, but sometimes I can't remember what a green or red light means, and I have anxiety. And that was, you know, a good friend and, you know, keeping in mind the concept of emotional dumping and such and sharing and like, where that where that lays, but just being able to speak so honestly and share things like that really changed a lot internally in showing up for myself in the ways that I needed, and again, not emotionally dumping. But that was just sort of my gateway into being like, oh my gosh, I can share these really hard things that I've been hiding for so long.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  37:53

Yeah, because that's exhausting too, when, again, it comes back the idea of like having to wear a mask can be so exhausting. If you feel like you have to act like everything's fine, I'm going to hide just how uncomfortable I am in in this moment or in this day, right?

 

Chaandani Khan  38:07

Exactly, exactly, you know. And so we're talking a lot about like overstimulation and just being aware of environments. And I think we should segue into how to support your system. There are lots of different ways that you know, when you think about the holidays, you think about attending events. You think about being social. Maybe it's social in a massive, you know, massive group, like you're at a festival in your city, maybe it's social with having, you know, three friends in in someone's home, having a book club night, or having some kind of, like, a Christmas craft or holiday craft that you're making, right? You know that you, like, you talk often about food and supplementing your system that way. Did you want to? Did you want to start us off?

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  38:47

Yeah. I mean, I think one of the things that was helpful for me was the fact that I needed to go gluten free a long time ago. But when I did that, it started to become so obvious to me, just the the food industry as a marketing system that really just takes advantage of every single holiday. And so when you can't eat the pink cupcakes for Valentine's Day and the green cupcakes for St Patrick's Day and the blue cupcakes for Easter whatever it is, right, it's like you start to just realize, wow, every single holiday just becomes an opportunity for the food industry to sell me something that is artificially colored and completely sugar laden. And yes, I was forced to give all that up. I was kind of grateful that I'm like, this isn't even an option for me. And I always actually developed a sense of, I don't know if pride is the right word, but I was, you know, a lot of people say, Oh, I've gained 15 pounds over the holidays, and I never wanted to have a yo yo diet. I never wanted to have a yo yo weight. And so for me, this whole idea of just over indulging or eating or drinking too much. Because you've got celebration after celebration. I knew that my body was just way too sensitive, and I didn't want to even create that challenge in my life. And so for me, it was always okay. How do I how do I modulate this? Like, I need a game plan going into this event, whether that game plan is I'm going to eat dinner before I go to the dinner, or I'm going to, you know, bring food with me, or I'm going to bring my own beverages. And I think now that's become pretty normal, because so many people do have food sensitivities or food allergies or, you know, don't drink alcohol. And so I think at this point in society that is so normal, it's become normalized. It's no longer like you're the weird person if you have to bring your own gluten free whatever, like,

 

Speaker 1  40:46

yeah, right. So that's the good news. That is good news, yeah?

 

Chaandani Khan  40:51

Like, for all of you who are entering this space now, your path is carved for you in means of dietary requests or restrictions or preferences. It's true. It's very much normalized, like, just the concept of having a different diet. And, you know, for someone with a brain injury who like yourself, maybe you're bringing your own beverages. Maybe they're not alcoholic. You're bringing your own food, your own snacks. You know, at this point, you could probably even tell hosts, people, hosts sometimes are asking too, like, Do you have any preferences? And it doesn't even require you to go down the whole Oh, I've experienced a brain injury. I'm working through it, etc. It might just be like as surface level as, okay, no gluten.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  41:29

That's it. And I think one of the things that has become more obvious for a lot of my patients is that before they had their brain injury, maybe they could tolerate sugar, and it was they didn't notice any ill effects from it, and then after the brain injury, all of a sudden, eating sugar became a very obvious trigger for them to have a headache or to feel more brain fog or to feel horrible the next day, as far as energy levels. And I think sometimes that's a hard connection for people to make, and sugar is just an example. If we have a increased permeability of the blood brain barrier and an increased permeability of the gut barrier, well then we're probably going to be much more sensitive to, you know, sugar and alcohol and processed foods and just stuff like that that maybe somebody didn't quite notice ill effects from prior to their injury, and now those things are really problematic.

 

Chaandani Khan  42:29

It is. It absolutely is. And I'm so glad to hear just how you broke that down, because so many people don't know about any of what you just shared. They don't know about the blood brain barrier, they don't know about the gut brain access. They don't know these things. And I was one of those people, you know, after my injury, it's something that I learned after being after struggling, after feeling challenged, after digging myself into the concussion space, after, you know, meeting with some incredible professionals. These are things that I started to take on and learn. And now I kind of tuck those away, and those are my fun facts that I'll just like, drop on people. Sometimes I'm like, did you know but? But it's so important that you know your people. I think if someone doesn't come from a sporting background or a medical background, nor have people in their lives in those spaces, they perhaps just are not as aware of the brain's connection to the entire body beyond the brain controls everything we do, right? But when you actually have an injury, it's something that just really puts the brakes on your life and forces you, at a certain point to kind of look at these things under a magnifying glass. And if something isn't working, generally, also, as you know, in this space, if people are chronic, if their symptoms are, you know, lasting longer than a few weeks to a few months, you kind of become a little desperate to start understanding what's going on and what can I take on. And so people go down this, you know, research rabbit hole, if you will. But for others who haven't done that, it's so important to hear what you're sharing.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  43:48

This was part one of my conversation with chandan e Khan about not just surviving the holidays, but thriving during the holiday season. Please join us next week for the second half of our conversation, and we wish you a very happy holiday. If you have a holiday survival tip you'd like to share, please email us at life after impact@gmail.com and the one gift I would love to receive for this holiday is a review of our podcast on your favorite streaming platform. Thanks for listening to life after impact, the concussion recovery podcast.

 

Dr. Ayla Wolf  44:30

Medical disclaimer, this video or podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice. No doctor patient relationship is formed. The use of this information and materials included is at the user's own risk. The content of this video or podcast is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and. Consumers of this information should seek the advice of a medical professional for any and all health related issues. A link to our full medical disclaimer is available in the notes foreign.